SPICE RACK REHAB: A LUMBERJACK'S LAMENT

This here problem is worse than a rotten log pile. My spice rack, she’s seen better days. Used to be well-kept, like a fresh cut of lumber. Now? It's a jumbled heap of dusty jars and broken bottles. I can't even dig out the cinnamon when I need it for my famous chili. This ain't just a kitchen crisis, this is an existential struggle. I gotta fix